The Power of Small Moments
Small moments can provide an uplift for our mood and they can help balance out some of the stress we feel.
As we approach the July 4th holiday, with its celebration of independence and community, it's an occasion to reflect on the power of small moments and the connections they foster. Independence Day is not just about grand fireworks and parades; it's also about the quieter, everyday interactions that weave the fabric of our society.
Someone once said, “A true friend is someone you can always count on for companionship or for help if you need it.”
This is the kind of friendship that social scientists would call a “strong tie.” These are the people we know will be there for us when things go wrong, who lift us up when we’re down, and who we are prepared to support in times of trouble. When most of us think of “important friends,” these are the relationships that come to mind.
But a relationship doesn’t need to be one of our most frequent or intimate contacts to be valuable. In fact, few of us realize that some of our most beneficial relationships can be with people we don’t spend a lot of time with or don’t know very well. Even interactions with complete strangers carry hidden benefits.
Consider the most common and simplest of interactions: buying a cup of coffee. When you go into the coffee shop, how often do you talk to the server? How often do you ask with genuine interest how they’re doing, or how their work is going that day? You may or may not be in the habit of doing this, but either way, most of us probably wouldn’t think of these interactions as “important.” Is that true? Do these interactions matter at all?
In one fascinating study, researchers divided a set of participants (who wanted a coffee) into two groups: one group was instructed to have an interaction with the barista, and the other to be as efficient as possible. Researchers found that people who smiled, made eye contact, and had a social interaction with the barista—in this case, a complete stranger—came away feeling better, and with a greater sense of belonging, than those who were instructed to be as efficient as possible. In short, having a friendly moment with a stranger was uplifting.
Small moments can provide an uplift for our mood and they can help balance out some of the stress we feel. An annoying commute can be softened by a short conversation with the security guard at work. A sense of disconnection can be alleviated when we say hello to our mail carrier. These kinds of brief interactions can affect our mood and energy throughout the day. If we get in the habit of seeking out and noticing opportunities for these daily uplifts, over time they can have far-reaching effects. Not only for us, but for our social networks as a whole; repeated casual contact has been shown to foster the formation of closer friendships. And sometimes even the most casual contact can open us up to whole new realms of experience.
As we gather with friends and family this July 4th, let's remember that the essence of our celebrations lies not just in the grand gestures, but in the small, meaningful moments we share. Whether it's a smile exchanged with a neighbor, a kind word to a stranger, or a heartfelt conversation with a loved one, these interactions enrich our lives and strengthen our communities.
Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.
Adapted from Waldinger & Schulz, “The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness,” Simon & Schuster, 2023.
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My name is Ajay and I work on financial management company
I live in small village of middle India, and every morning I have to go 13 KM for reaching my office which is in the city
My fellow friends go from bus but I reach my office via vehicle lifts through complete strangers, when I'm with them i ask about their life
Like how are you?, nice to meet you, I ask them for a cup coffee with me.
This connections gives me a sense of emotional well being
I feel delightful
And also in my weekend holidays
I go to the streets and meet complete strangers and I ask them for help like where is the central park of this city? (which I already know) but I try to have a conversation with them in some ways
I give them compliments, like (this white shirt looks so awesome on you), (you are so kind) etc.
I set a target like on this holiday I have to speak to atleast 15 strangers for my emotional well being
And this is so amazing
Thank you Robert sir, I'm so greatful for your work
Wishing you good health!
The first day of the Covid lockdown my normal retirement activities---tennis, volunteer work, coffee and get togethers with friends, family etc---were all unavailable, so I went out alone and walked five miles in our sprawling semi-rural neighborhood. I continued to walk every day. More and more people were out and about. We would nod to each other across the width of the road. As the days passed we began to recognize each other. I might comment on a person's dog, or alert them to a garage sale in the neighborhood. We learned each others names, which house we belonged to, and sometimes a little about our lives. Over the course of the lockdown I came to know at least the names of at least 30 people. A few became more than acquaintances. I thought of it as my mobile coffee shop. While I no longer have time to walk every day, I still walk and meet new people.